The Uncertainty Principle

Somewhere in the quisling clinic there's a shorthand typist taking seconds over minutes

Who is your favourite ambassador? Sir Christopher Meyer? John Bolton?

Anyone for Shah Zukang, Chinese Ambassador to Geneva?

Last week, as you may have heard, he gave an interview to BBC news, tackling the resiliant canards of Chinese military build up and the Taiwan question.

You would be forgiven for thinking that a professional diplomat would parry and duck the issues, fight questions with rafts of meaningless information or just - because this is China after al l- refuse to answer at all.

Far from it.

Clearly off his mash on caffine, the boy Zukang went all out. Yes it was frightening, yes it was a barnstormer.

"Why blame China? … It's better for the U.S. to SHUT-UP and keep quiet. It's much, much better."

"It's the US's sovereign right to do whatever they deem good for them — but don't tell us what is good for China. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

If you haven't heard it - I recommend you listen to it here; you can't get the cadences without hearing it yourself.

Must be something in the atmosphere / Let me be your volunteer / I thought I heard a signal coming through / In a language that I never knew

Now the ceasefire in Lebanon has kicked in, I am hoping our collective attention can turn to an overlooked dimension of Middle Eastern reportage.

There is a particular issue that has been bugging me over the last six months or so, an issue cruelly underreported by the woefully biased British-so-called-Broadcasting Corporation.

Where has Jeremy Bowen's moustache gone?

He used to look like a windswept and interesting Dad. Slightly eroded by the sun, a weather-beaten, authoritative reporter with a glint in his eye. The kind of guy, in short, with a few salty tales to tell.

Check him out.

These days, he's looking like an emaciated Michael Winner.

Bring it back Jeremy. Bring it on back.